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Exaggeratin’? Maybe, but I swear, one chick said she’d only hook up if I barked like a dog—fuckin loco, right? Told her, “I’m Tony Montana, I don’t bark, I bite!” Sex-dating’s a trip, mang—half the time you laugh, half the time you wanna shoot somebody. “This is all we need,” Eve says—nah, I need a chica who don’t catfish me with 10-year-old pics. Stay real out there, or Tony’s comin’ for ya—say hello to my little friend!

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After that, I’m feeling a bit better. I head over to the park near the old mosque. It’s peaceful there, you know? I sit on a bench, munching on my pita, just soaking it all in. The view of the hills is stunning. Maghar is beautiful, man. But then, I see this guy arguing with a vendor. They’re shouting in Arabic, and I can’t catch all of it, but it’s heated. I’m thinking, “Dude, chill! It’s just a few shekels!”

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